Love it. Manumission was great. The spell never broke. Very entertaining.
Why does a therapist need to also be a cam girl?
You answer this question in a psychological way, but maybe theres a monetary reason as well?
Maybe mention identity, status, and anonymity a few times throughout the story to build the vertical? "I could never do this without anonymity, and no one will ever learn my identity because one of my clients is a cyber security guru." Denying the possibility creates it.
Consider unpacking the therapy client stories more with some physical details. I really wanted to read some absurd nonsense from them. Especially the enabling parents.
Beware of -ing and -ly words. Turns sentences passive.
I liked how the first draft started. I really like how this draft ended. Also, calling the dog BB—bareback?— and talking about her hairy asshole is giving me gross anticipations considering what Iona used the cucumber for.
I often use the trick of starting in past tense, then at the end, switching to present tense to convey the passage of time, and growth.
Yeah it’s good to mix it all in. Here I switched to second at the end instead.
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Love it. Manumission was great. The spell never broke. Very entertaining.
Why does a therapist need to also be a cam girl?
You answer this question in a psychological way, but maybe theres a monetary reason as well?
Maybe mention identity, status, and anonymity a few times throughout the story to build the vertical? "I could never do this without anonymity, and no one will ever learn my identity because one of my clients is a cyber security guru." Denying the possibility creates it.
Consider unpacking the therapy client stories more with some physical details. I really wanted to read some absurd nonsense from them. Especially the enabling parents.
Beware of -ing and -ly words. Turns sentences passive.
So good! The bathtub auction scene really works, my heart dropped even though I knew what was going to happen.
I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I liked how the first draft started. I really like how this draft ended. Also, calling the dog BB—bareback?— and talking about her hairy asshole is giving me gross anticipations considering what Iona used the cucumber for.
Please don’t use the dog like a cucumber.
I was thinking more like it’s her baby. You’re in the clear on that one.